


Good enough

by LenaLuvsKara



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Ballet, Child Abuse, Childhood, Childhood Trauma, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22020073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaLuvsKara/pseuds/LenaLuvsKara
Summary: Young Lena Luthor just wants to make her mother proud
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Good enough

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a two parter, second part posted hopefully soon

Past

Ten year old Lena Luthor stood in the room of girls with a smile on her face, she had just managed to complete three pirouettes on pointe, which was something to be proud of especially when most of the girls in her class could barely do one clean pirouette. So of course Lena couldn’t help the smile or the blush that appeared on her cheeks as the ballet instructor praised her especially when she managed to do three pirouettes once again cleanly. She beamed from ear to ear as she made her way back to her place at the ballet barre and at that moment she felt like she could do anything..

But as usual she was snapped back to reality and the smile that had been on her face quickly faded as she noticed her mother from the other side of the glass. Her stomach quickly twisted in knots as she swallowed the sudden vomit down her throat. Her mother wasn’t due to be back for at least another week and her mother was always so much worse when she returned from her frequent trips. She always found new things to berate her for and Lena's heart dropped as she knew her mother was sure to bring up everything that was wrong with Lena. Lena just hoped that maybe just maybe her mother would be proud of Lenas accomplishment and so as the minutes ticked by, Lenas heart pounded in her chest and her hands grew clammy as the time class to be over drew near.

As soon as class was over Lena made sure to say goodbye to her teacher quickly and then to be just as quick in the dressing room, because oh how her mother hated for Lena to take her time and so with her dance bag over her shoulder and her ugg boots on her feet, Lena made her way over to her mother and with a soft smile and in a soft voice she spoke “Hello mother, I hope your trip went well.” Lilian’s brow quickly raised as she looked the child up and down “Lena dear have you been getting in the cookies while I was gone? You're looking a little big in the stomach and I’m sure your dance master wouldn’t dare cast you in the upcoming ballet, they would be afraid you would rip the costume!” Lillian spoke as she made her way outside the dance studio with Lena following quickly behind her. Lena tried to keep the tears at bay as she followed her mother to the car all the while trying to avoid her classmates who were being hugged and told how good they were by their parents. Lena often at times wondered why she wasn’t good enough to at least hear praise from her mother and as her eyes lit up she remembered “Mother.” Lena answered softly as she took a seat in the car “I did three pirouettes in class today!” She beamed as she was sure her mother would be very proud of her accomplishment. “And you're proud of that why? Because you think it’s an accomplishment? You think it’s something to be proud of.” Lillian asked with bewilderment in her expression “those two girls Jennifer and what’s her name Samantha can do at least five, well they are skinnier than you!” Lillian spoke with a chuckle before yelling at the driver to stop being so slow and that if she wasn’t in a good mood he would surely have been fired. Lena looked down at her hands as her eyes filled with tears but before a tear could fall, Lena felt a stinging slap against her cheek as her mother barked “Luthors don’t cry you spoiled brat! And the quicker you realize that the better your life will be.” Lena nodded as she turned to look out the window at the world around her and silently she made a promise to herself that she would be better and that one day her mother would be proud of her, proud enough to hug her and maybe even proud enough to say I love you.

As soon as Lena was home she walked quickly to the in home dance room that Lillian had made so Lena could practice, Lena likes to think it was because her mother loved her but Lena knew better, she knew it was because her mother loved coming in the dance room when Lena was practicing and tell Lena all her flaws, because of course when Lillian was a child she was the most talented ballet dancer and everybody loved her.  
So Lena made quick to put on her pointe shoes as she ignored the growl in her stomach, she knew her mother would say something if Lena was to get a snack even if it was something as healthy as an apple. So instead Lena starred in the floor to wall mirror and in her mind she agreed with everything that her mother had said about her even though it hurt her so much and then Lena got started.

Lena practiced and practiced for nearly two hours as she tried so hard to do six pirroutes, she didn’t even stop when her body was coated with sweat, she didn’t even stop when her toenails had broken off and she surely didn’t stop when she felt the throbbing in her feet or even when the room seemed to sway in front of her. She only stopped when she had finally mastered six pirouettes and when she turned to look she saw her mother standing there with a hint of a smile and at that moment Lena had known she had done well, she still knew she had done well even after her mother sent her to bed without dinner because she said Lena was fat. She even knew she had done well as her mother had slammed her against the wall because Lenas bloody toes had gotten blood on the carpet, she knew she had done well as she felt the throbbing in her head because she knew despite the pain, she had made her mother proud and that was enough for Lena

The next time Lena went to ballet class and managed to complete six pirouettes, she simply only nodded when the teacher praised her and once again as she made her way back to the ballet barre, she knew she had done well, despite the throbbing in her feet, despite the lump on the back of her head and despite the pain in her stomach from not eating for nearly two days, she knew she had done well because she had seen her mother slightly smile and just like all the other girls in class, she felt normal because for once she had a parent again who showed her a tiny bit of affection and that was enough for Lena. Even though deep down she knew it wasn’t.


End file.
